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Judith Reisman Article: Hefner's Bunny on a Trojan Horse

Hefner's bunny on a Trojan horse
November 10, 2007
By Judith Reisman
© 2007
http://drjudithreisman.com/

Can important lessons still be learned from history and cherished Greek mythology? In 1184 B.C., Sinon, a Greek spy, tricked the Trojan leaders into bringing Ulysses' wooden horse into their walled city. The destruction of Troy, and the enslavement of her women and children, is now legend.

But how could the lesson of Troy's costly naiveté apply to our own times?

Cast your memory back to 1948 when Alfred Kinsey's Trojan horse of "sexual liberation" and his fraudulent "sexual education" harangued our tolerant, Judeo-Christian walled city. Our rates of STDs, family breakdowns and sexual crimes against women and children reflected those restraining religious beliefs and laws.

By 1953, Hugh Hefner, Kinsey's "pamphleteer" smashed through our city walls with his Playboy bunny, and the "sexual revolution" had begun. Elite professors swiftly took up the new values, recruiting students to the sex and drug revolution. Hefner's smiling Playboy bunny, the modern sexual Trojan horse, would torch our civil society – "no fault" divorce and skyrocketing sexual crime and disease were on the way.

See the Kinsey/Hefner fallout in the daily child abuse arrests of influential college educated leaders, legislators, doctors, lawyers, military and Justice Department officials, teachers, clergy, professors and the like.
(Column continues below)

Mainstreaming "adult" pornography inevitably created a lust among perhaps millions who now seek their endogenous opioid thrills in child pornography and abuse.
What follows are a few current reports from my "VIP Child Abusers" file. These are men (and increasingly women and children, despite the lack of VIP women in this recent list) who risked their professions, reputations, families, finances, everything to attain that state of fear, shame and lust the predator experiences as sexual arousal to children.

Thus does the child predator transition from high arousal euphoria to depression and dysphoria, endangering more and more children.

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the Nov. 6 arrest of Robert Singer, the chief operating officer of the National Children's Museum, charged with deliberately distributing child pornography to a child.

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the Nov. 6 arrest of Irving Mittleman, a University of New Haven professor charged with flying to Detroit to have sex with two children.
See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the Oct. 31 arrest of Barry Mentser, former staff attorney for Franklin County Children's Services, Ohio, for "importuning and attempted unlawful sexual conduct with a minor."

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the Oct. 30 arrest of University of Hawaii professor Marc P.C. Fossorier for arranging sex with a 15-year-old girl.

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the Oct. 26 arrest of John Eric Gilliam, a ,

Seminole, Texas, paramedic for possession and transportation of hundreds of child pornography images.

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the Oct. 26 arrest of Troy, Ohio, pediatrician Robert Reinhold for "1,700 images … [many] depicted minors engaging in lascivious displays or engaging in acts of sexual activity."

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the Oct. 27 arrest of Victoria County Texas, Sheriff Mike Ratcliff for aggravated sexual assault and criminal solicitation of a minor with a handgun.

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the Oct. 25 arrest of John P. Duffy, a "well-known local sports announcer and former weekend news anchor for ESPN Radio 1250" in Pittsburgh, Pa., for child pornography.

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the Oct. 3 arrest in Fayetteville, Ark., of Michael V. Fortino a nationally televised motivational speaker, for transporting child pornography across state lines.

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse during the notorious (now almost forgotten) Sept. 17 arrest of federal prosecutor John David R. Atchison, a U.S. Justice Department, official for soliciting sex with a 5-year-old girl. He allegedly said the child would be unharmed. "Just gotta go slow and very easy. I've done it plenty." Atchison was a member of the Florida Bar Association since 1984 and president of a youth athletic organization.

See the "sexual liberation" Trojan horse when reading on Sept. 14 of the arrest of Louis J. Stroschien Jr., listed as the principal of the Shelby County Catholic School in Harlan, Iowa, for enticement of a minor for sex.

The "sexual liberation" epidemic is of course reflected in violence to women as well, as on Nov. 10 when the military reported an increase in sexual assaults from 1,700 in 2004 to 2,947 in 2006. Here, the Bunny Trojan horse trots through the recent Pentagon decision to sell pornography on military bases in violation of the 1996 "Military Honor and Decency Act."

Meanwhile, an Associated Press study released Oct. 22, found over 2,500 educators in over five years punished for sexual abuse with many more such crimes unreported. The AP report cited a 2004 congressional report that concluded 4.5 million out of 50 million students in American public schools "are subject to sexual misconduct by an employee of a school sometime between kindergarten and 12th grade."

So thousands of VIP professionals, well-educated, esteemed men and women, doctors, lawyers, teachers, clergy, police, justice officials, legislators and the like, as well as many thousands of "uneducated" folks, are annually arrested for child predation.

These predators are carriers of a sex crime epidemic that breached our city walls during the 1960s sexual revolution led by a cadre of Kinseyan sexual psychopaths.

Our nation is well past "the tipping point" of sexual pathology. Until our universities have the courage to face our past mistakes and teach the truth about the Trojan horse-and-bunny history of the sexual revolution, our predatory population will continue to expand, recruit and breed ever greater numbers.

You do the math.

Share Your Story

Women can share their story on Mothers Against Porn Addiction's blog by emailing us at mothersagainstpornaddiction@yahoo.com.

Lighted Candle Society

'Tsunami of pornography' debases human dignity, archbishop says
By Dan Morris-Young and Barbara Lee5/14/2007

Catholic News Service (www.catholicnews.com)

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. (CNS) – Describing what he sees as an "electronic tsunami of pornography," Archbishop George H. Niederauer of San Francisco told a Utah-based anti-pornography organization that pornography "debases the priceless worth and dignity of each human being and (God's) gift of human sexuality."

While pornography "is not a new challenge," the archbishop told members of the Lighted Candle Society at its annual awards dinner in Salt Lake City May 8, "the explosive increase in the accessibility and availability of pornography is new and deeply troubling."

"Every computer terminal is its pipeline, and cell phones and other hand-held devices, many of them marketed to children and young people, literally deliver pornography everywhere, to anyone," he said in his keynote address.

Archbishop Niederauer was presented the Lighted Candle Society's Guardian of the Light Award two years ago for his work as president of the Utah Coalition Against Pornography, a position he held for five years as bishop of Salt Lake City before being named archbishop of San Francisco.

The archbishop, who headed the Salt Lake City Diocese from 1994 to 2005, reminded his listeners that pornography "now generates more annual income than all three major professional sports combined, and causes as well the world's fastest growing addiction."

"We have all heard the discouraging numbers," he said, noting research shows there are 68 million Internet "search engine requests for porn sites" every day, that 70 percent of men ages 18 to 24 visit porn sites each month, that "90 percent of 8- to 16-year-olds have viewed porn online," and that "the average age of a child's first exposure to pornography on the Internet is 11."

However, he said, "what should motivate us most profoundly is not the amount of pornography there is but the kind of harm it does. Pornography assaults human dignity and commodifies people and human sexuality. Porn starves the human soul in its spiritual dimension. ... The human person, an irreplaceable gift, becomes a throwaway toy."

The archbishop, who chairs the U.S. bishops' Committee on Communications and is a member of the Pontifical Council on Social Communications, cautioned that pornography opponents "need constantly to explore and articulate what we are for, not merely what we are against. Deploring and pointing with alarm are valid and effective only in light of what we value and defend."

Much of the archbishop's talk also addressed the motion picture industry which, he said, "is capable of so much beauty and so much trash."

Admitting he has had "a lifelong love affair with the movies," Archbishop Niederauer criticized "the nihilism that reigns in many quarters of moviemaking" today as well as "excessive violence" and dark portrayals of life.

He called on his listeners, film critics and moviemakers themselves to be wary of being cowed by a desire to seem "supersophisticated."

"The one thing we will not be called is prudes, so we laugh nervously at the vilest sexual aberrations, nod knowingly at the blackest, sickest kind of humor, even relish a bit of violence well carried off," the archbishop said. "Some of us want to come off as so worldly-wise that we defend any evil flashed on-screen by saying, 'Face it, the world is like that!'

"Moviegoers can't be sponges," he added. "Just as in our experiences of other media, in watching films we need to become our own best filters."

At the awards dinner, the Lighted Candle Society presented Guardian of the Light Awards to nationally syndicated radio talk-show host Michael Reagan, the adopted son of former U.S. President Ronald Reagan, and Pamela Atkinson, who succeeded Archbishop Niederauer as president of the Utah Coalition Against Pornography.

The society was founded in 2001 by John Harmer, a former California state senator and California lieutenant governor during Ronald Reagan's term as governor. Harmer and researcher James B. Smith recently co-wrote "The Sex Industrial Complex," subtitled "America's Secret Combination: Pornographic Culture, Addiction and the Human Brain."
In an interview with the Intermountain Catholic, Salt Lake City diocesan newspaper, Harmer said it is through the efforts of people such as Michael Reagan and Atkinson that the Lighted Candle Society is ready to achieve a much broader base.

"When I created the society, I was aware of many similar organizations doing the same work," he said.

But Harmer said he found a void in research and the training of law enforcement officials and prosecutors to effectively fight pornography in the courts on behalf of individuals who have suffered because of the use of pornography.

"It is much like the court battles that have tackled tobacco marketing," he said. "People have no idea how powerful and dangerous these images are and how pervasive they become to a person addicted to pornography." - - -

Cho lapped up our sadosexual culture
Posted: May 3, 20071:00 a.m. Eastern
By Judith Reisman
© 2000 WorldNetDaily.com-->© 2007


Based on some Internet bloggers' hysteria, my WND column guessing the Virginia Tech killer had a pornography addiction traumatized scores of heavy users out there.
Well, that is to be anticipated after decades of universities and colleges pandering pornography in their bookstores and at their "we're so cool" pornography film fests.


Now it turns out that this "loner" graduated from looking to paying. The local WSLS News Channel 10 reported that the killer hired a female "escort service" a month before he massacred unarmed and defenseless students and faculty.


Cho paid "Chastity" for an hour of private "dancing" in his motel room. When the little tough guy wanted more than dancing, Chastity says she left him flat.


All of the reports about this fantasy-fueled, frustrated egomaniac confirm Cho's anger, fear and hatred of women.


Although Cho was certainly a porn addict, we don't yet know (if we ever will) exactly what kind of Internet cruising he had descended into: sadistic, "barely legal," children, macho/military men or Playboy's fairytale female lovers.


All allegedly "heterosexual" pornography of course fuels disgust and anger at those provocative women who don't really "do it" but who just "tease" their lusting lotharios.
Naturally, since seething Internet seductresses don't "put out," millions of libidinous men go livid. Unable to admit that pornography robs them of their manhood, these poor Internet patsies tell themselves that their desperate excitement is "sex."


Naturally, statistically, some such confused, angry men will turn from these (um, deceitful) women to guys. Even The Advocate admitted back in 1994 that 21 percent of their largely affluent, educated male readers reported molestation by an adult before age 15. Cho's writing suggests he was one of those.


So another coward belligerently stalked women and took illegal under-the-desk crotch photos of co-eds; the ones that the university seems to think were not criminal.
Of course, the man's hate-filled and medically altered brain has been fueled by the same, dare we say it, immoral refuse culture that taints us all; the coarsened, sadosexual television and film fare, the killer-simulating video games and Victoria Secret public spaces that have come to define our ignorant and barbaric age.


Even the Washington Post reported that Korean youths who knew Cho in high school "said he was a fan of violent video games, particularly Counterstrike, a hugely popular online game published by Microsoft, in which players join terrorism or counterterrorism groups and try to shoot each other using all types of guns."


Right, let's hear it for Bill Gates' gaming bottom line. Now we'll be told it's Christian inhibitions and guns that cause mass murder. Of course, at most high school gun clubs, even in my day, kids practiced shooting at targets, not at people.


Blogger "CLS" pointed out that proposed Virginia legislation in 2005 would have allowed students and faculty with a valid concealed handgun permit to carry firearms at Virginia Tech and other universities. Since the legislation was defeated, Virginia Tech became another "gun free zone" in our erototoxically crazed society.


Firearms for self-defense are verboten. Only firearms for massacres are allowed.
In several prior attacks, would-be killers were stopped by gun-totting faculty and students who had to first retrieve their firearms from their cars. Of course, these heroes don't appear above the fold in the New York Times. That honor is reserved for the latest glaring, copycat killer in pseudo military gear.

Blogger James Lewis raised another question about who taught Cho to hate.
Lewis asks what Cho learned in school. Although his answer is well worth reading in full, here is a glimpse:

"English studies at VT are a post-modern Disney World in which nihilism, moral and sexual boundary breaking, and fantasies of Marxist revolutionary violence are celebrated. They show up in a lot of faculty writing. Not by all the faculty, but probably by more than half. Just check out their websites."

I did. He's right. And talk about learning: After God got kicked out of American schools from kindergarten to university, the Ten Commandments came down and AIDS posters went up.
Kind friends, we are reaping the results of "The Marketing of Evil." As is the case in any war, it is the innocent, especially the children, who pay the price for our arrogant, egotistical sexual license and our ignorance of real American history and tradition.

Dr. Judith Reisman is president of the Institute for Media Education and is the author of "Kinsey, Crimes & Consequences."

An Open Letter to My Wife By The Webmaster at No-Porn.com

An open letter to my wife:

Thank you for everything you are in my life. Thank you for the tremendous sacrifices you make on a daily basis. Thank you for setting such a remarkable example for our children. Your commitment to your studies since you returned to college has shown the kids far better than we could ever teach them otherwise the importance of an education. They see everything you do, and I am impressed at how well they do in school because they simply follow your example. It isn’t just a one-time example; it has been persistent over the past three years. Perhaps there are things I should be doing persistently by way of example for our children as well.

The children also feel of your love in our home. When you take time to teach them values that will last throughout their lives, when you insist on good manners, when you limit their television and video game privileges, and when you tuck them in and sing them songs, they feel of that love. When you give them hugs and kisses, they feel of that love.

Thank you for limiting the number of sports events and other extra curricular activities the kids are involved in. Thank you for taking care of yourself and recognizing that the kids don’t have to do everything. Thank you for giving them some activities and driving them there, but how nice those nights are when we’re all together and relaxed. Sometimes we feel like our house is too cluttered, but I’d rather have a cluttered house than a cluttered calendar.

Thank you for supporting me by managing the passwords on all our devices. I’d like to think that if the passwords weren’t there I’d be okay, but when you say, “I’d prefer to keep the computer filter running. I prefer that Covenant Eyes stay installed,” I know that you love me. As you say, you do trust me, but you don’t want me to have to endure constant temptation. Thank you for loving me enough to insist on some basic safety practices.

There are things I have done that I pray I will never do again. I can’t understand how I ever did some of those things. Was I a different person then? Not really, I suppose. I just had a secret part of me that I have said good-bye to; now the real me is a lot more comfortable with my day-to-day activities. No new secrets. I don’t think I can ever forgive myself for my old ways, and that’s okay with me. Forgiveness isn’t my priority; abstinence is. Forgiveness may come – it seems to come much easier from you – but what I really want is to live without porn for the rest of my life.

I will never forget when we sought counseling for our child, and the therapist turned her attention toward our relationship. Eventually, my “limited” use of porn (every few months at that time) was brought up. I thought I was doing pretty well compared to how things used to be. She asked you how you felt when I looked at porn. You sat in silence. She asked again, and a tear dripped down your cheek. You said, “I feel badly. I feel like he doesn’t love me.” That moment took me into real recovery. Your honesty and love is what led me to search for a way to break through my binge cycle.

Honey, I never use porn or masturbate now. I’m sorry that my childhood took me there. It stunted my emotional development in ways that still manifest themselves. Although I do not believe I will ever go back, I promise to be diligent and cautious and to do my best to avoid it, so that I never end up back in that compulsive cycle again.

Thank you for letting me know how much my acting out was hurting you. Thank you for supporting me through all of this darkness. I’ve always felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel, and now I am close enough to see that the light is you.

Love,
Wes

Wes is the webmaster at http://www.no-porn.com/ and the author of the e-book “Ten Keys to Breaking Pornography Addiction.” He can be contacted at http://us.f376.mail.yahoo.com/ym/Compose?To=contact@no-porn.com. His wife does not participate at MAPA, but she has read this letter.

The Robbery of the Soul

The Robbery of the Soul
By: toomuchenergy

For the past year and a half I have struggled to explain the co-addict side of pornography addiction, both to my spouse and to my one friend who knows about the situation. It has been futile and indescribable until a few days ago.

The revelation occurred when we got on our boat. My husband went down below and immediately asked me if I had been out on the boat. I said, “no, why?” Then the look of despair came over him and he said we’ve been robbed. They broke the latch and went into the front window. Anything that could fit through it was taken.

Immediately he went to the marina computer system to watch the videos of the surveillance cameras. He watched for a while and finally saw the perpetrators making their 1:45 thieving spree by water. He pointed out every detail. See the waves, they came by boat. There are three of them. Finally in frustration, he realized that the resolution was so fuzzy that their true identity would never show up on film.

It was reported and we went back to the boat. Despite the loss being under the deductible, bringing the crime into light was a must – a way to stop them from doing it again perhaps.Then, he goes under to take inventory of what all was taken. “I feel so violated” he said.

He searched every nook and cranny of storage for clues and missing items. Then the “I should have …” statements started. I should have taken the DVD player off. I should always park it close to the camera or put it in dry storage. I’m going to get a motion sensor alarm so if anyone else does this (this is the 2nd boat robbery) an alarm will sound and make them leave.

It spoiled the care-free day we had planned on the lake. It costs us hard earned money. It raised distrust for night outings after the marina closes. It violated our comfortable space.

For a moment I saw the clarity of living with this addiction. Through a robbery.

It was like a strobe light and whistles blowing: “Pornography addiction is a “robbery of the soul””.

It starts with a violation of something dear to us – fidelity. The lies to hide the violation erode and destroy trust. It makes us doubt ourselves and second guess our every move (and our worth as humans). We devise ways to catch the perp. We devise ways to stop the violation. We suffer losses of magnitudes far greater than objects. It clouds every special occasion we plan. It taps into our financial and emotional bank accounts. It robs the soul.

Calmly after assimilating the two “violations” I verbalized this to the ears of my perp. He didn’t want to linger there. He knows the damage and saw the similarities (magnified one million times, often daily in the absence of true recovery). Finally, I can describe this world I’ve been living in. Although the damage to the soul is far greater than any worldly object we hold dear.

My Shoulders Are My Own

My Shoulders Are My Own

By: Rain

Sad really how something so trivial can push someone over the edge. I’m looking down it right now.And it looks more appealing than where I am standing… way more.

I’m tired of it all. All of it.

I’m tired of explaining it over and over and over. I’m tired of being the only one truly working to keep this all going. The one walking upright, and on her own feet. And you know…. Down there, off the edge… looks like all those people are standing stronger and straighter than I am, with out the added weight to their shoulders. They can finally live truth. I want that.

I’m tired of dragging him along, he’s too god damn heavy. Wish for once he had his own two feet. Or use them. Wish for once, I could walk on my own with out looking back to make sure he’s coming, following me along in the path I’ve cut out.

I don’t want to point the way anymore. I am tired. Wish for once, he’d walk beside me in this… just beside me… and do it all on his own, while I get to stroll along and learn.

But, you know what I get when I step away and refuse to carry him? His screams that I need to pick him back up, help show him the way again… “I can’t do it alone, you already know how, so do it for me!!! I won't find my way and it will be your fault!!”

He never sees that he’s crushing me, he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t see that I’m at the cliff, looking back and forth, trying to decide what to do, where to go.. over or back. He’s too busy screaming from the ground. He doesn’t see, and he doesn’t care. He can’t, simply because he won’t.

If only he could just stand up, use his feet, walk over and take my hand… Walk next to me through this… the decision would be easy. I would go hand in hand on this journey and not even look back at the cliff.

I would embrace the fight again. Embrace him. But he doesn’t stand on his own, and I’m afraid he never will. So I stand here, looking back and forth. Back and forth… At him and the cliff…But, no matter which direction I chose to take, one thing is certain from here on out…

My shoulders are my own and I will no longer carry him. He’s on his own. I hope to not hear his screams for very long.

By a Recovering Pornography Addict: D-day

D-day

Hi, I’m Herb. I’m a recovering pornography addict and compulsive masturbator.

I have read hundreds of posts by the partners of porn addicts talking about D-day. I take that to be the day that the awareness of the addiction and the extent of involvement in pornography became a reality. D-day is always a day of extreme pain. I have understood that D-day may not be a single event but a series of revelations, each more painful and revealing.

Addicts talk about bottoming out. That’s what I want to talk about. My personal D-day if you will.

A number of years ago I met my wife after work to shop and she had a few more errands to run so we parted and I headed home. I made a beeline for a small town north of us to return a porn video I had rented. My hope was to get home before her so she wouldn’t wonder where I had been. I dropped off the video and got home, relieved that she wasn’t there so I wouldn’t have to lie. Some amount of time passed and the phone rang.

When I answered she said; “I don’t want you to panic but I’m at the hospital in the emergency room.” She had t-boned a Lincoln Continental at highway speeds. She was, fortunately, not badly injured but the car was totaled.

My heart almost exploded in my chest. I said: “I’ll be right there” and proceeded to break every traffic law written to get to the hospital; the whole way praying that God wasn’t going to hurt her because of me. I got to the hospital and she was all hooked up to IV’s and monitors but looked ok, a little ashen.

Do you know what she said when I got there? “Where were you, I’ve been calling for over an hour?” The look in her eyes, the tone of loneliness and abandonment was like white hot iron. I wish I could have just dropped dead on the spot. The SHAME washed over me in torrents. Is that understandable at all? I wasn’t there for her because of a porn video—How insane is that?

This was my D-day. The day the shame and realization of the depth of my addiction came home to me. I had had suicidal thoughts before but I really wanted to die after that. I was worthless and evil and completely beyond redemption. It hurt.

I started active recovery that day. I established my own boundaries. I knew I was addicted, I think I always had. I resolved never to bring a porn vid or mag ever again into my home. I know, you’re saying great but you’re still protecting your habit. That is true. But I had to start somewhere. I had to de-escalate somehow.

It took me years to get past that. I did well for a long time then got a new career with hi-speed Internet and one (go ahead and laugh) inadvertent exposure to on-line porn image and BLAM, I was active in addiction again. The shame and feelings of worthlessness returned as if they had never been gone. They provided a rich environment for the addictive cycle to continue to spin.

That is the short story of my D-day. It took too long and too much pain to get any meaningful sobriety. It took confession and counseling at church, it took discussion with me wife (and that is like puking up the shame all at once) and it took work and reading and learning about addiction. It took a trusted friend to be able to open up with.

Pornography almost killed me and it is destroying lives and soul everyday. Sometimes it’s hard to own the past we have created but we need to take ownership of today and become sober. We need to look forward to tomorrow with hope and not the fear addiction breeds. We need to save our lives, no one else can do it for us.

Awards Dinner Honors Anti Porn Efforts

May 8 Awards Dinner honors anti-pornography efforts
San Francisco Archbishop George H. Niederauer will give dinner's keynote address
by Barbara Stinson LeeIntermountain Catholic

SALT LAKE CITY — If the face of the Hon. John Harmer, a former California state senator and lieutenant governor, appears worn and tired it’s because he is fighting a 40-year battle with images he doesn’t like to look at and words he hates to read. Harmer, the founder and chairman of the Lighted Candle Society, now in its sixth year, is leading a charge against pornography, whether it is found in magazines and books, movies and television, or popping up into our homes uninvited via the internet.

Harmer doesn’t fight this battle alone. On May 8 at the annual Guardian of the Light Awards Dinner at Little America in Salt Lake City, Harmer and the Lighted Candle Society will honor Michael Reagan and Pamela Atkinson for their efforts. San Francisco Archbishop George H. Niederauer, former president of the Utah Coalition Against Pornography, will give the keynote address at the dinner.

Reagan, the adopted son of the late President Ronald Reagan and his first wife, Jane Wyman, is the host of the conservative radio talk show, “The Michael Reagan Show,” is syndicated through Radio America. He will be honored for his anti-porn efforts on the national level. Atkinson, a local activist who took over the reigns of the Utah Coalition Against Pornography from Bishop

George Niederauer after he was named archbishop of San Francisco, will be recognized for her anti-porn stand on the local level.

In an interview with the Intermountain Catholic, Harmer said it is through the efforts of people like Reagan and Atkinson that the Lighted Candle Society is ready to achieve a much broader base.

“When I created the Society, I was aware of many similar organizations doing the same work. A lot of our money has gone to those organizations. I wanted to fill a void.”

Harmer has found that void – it is research and the training of law enforcement and prosecutors to effectively fight pornography in the courts on behalf of individuals who have suffered because of the use of pornography. “It is much like the court battles that have tackled tobacco marketing,” he said

In a new book Harmer co-wrote with Bountiful Researcher James B. Smith, “The Sex Industrial Complex: Americas Secret Combination, Pornographic Culture, Addiction and the Human Brain,” Harmer takes on corporate entities and the powerful movie industry “that are profiting from the production, distribution, and financing of pornography. They support each other and use presumably independent entities such as Planned Parenthood and the ACLU (The American Civil Liberties Union) to protect themselves.”

“The Sex Industrial Complex,” Harmer’s editor notes, “documents the rise and cultural saturation of pornographic propaganda and ideology throughout the 20th century. From the ACLU to MTV and motion pictures; Harmer lays out the history, social implications, and societal impact of a worldwide pornographic culture.”

Harmer said the research of Dr. Judith Reisman, to whom the book is dedicated, “reveals that frequent use of pornography creates addiction and brain damage in the structure and the function of the brain. Through the use of fMRI’s (functional magnetic resonance imaging) we can now watch the human brain react to the stimuli of violence and pornography.”

Dr. Reisman’s research and that of the University of Pennsylvania’s Dr. Mary Ann Leyden, Harmer said, provide the protocol for an estimated $2 million – $3 million study the Lighted Candle Society intends to undertake and publish on the harmful effects of pornography on the human brain.

“People have no idea how powerful and dangerous these images are and how pervasive they become to a person addicted to pornography,” Harmer said.

For further information about the Lighted Candle Society, The Guardian of the Light Awards Dinner, or “The Sex Industrial Complex” go to: www.lightedcandlesociety.org.
John Harmer, founder and chairman of the Lighted Candle Society, is a tireless fighter in the struggle against pornography. Working from offices in Washington, D.C. and Bountiful, Utah, he brings to light the dark world of pornography that is supported by some of the most reputable companies in the U.S. They have found that pornography is a profitable business.

How Widespread Is It Among Our Judiciary that Sex With Children is a "Natural Impulse?"

THE JUDGE SAYS: "When I say that, it's my understanding that most men are sexually attracted to young women..I mean women from the time they're 1 all the way up until they're 100." Maddox noted the legal terms malum in se, a Latin phrase meaning an act that is "inherently evil," and malum prohibitum, which means acts that are not necessarily inherently immoral or hurtful, only wrong by statute. He said child pornography could be considered malum prohibitum because in some countries and cultures it is acceptable to engage in sexual conduct with young girls."

--Carson City, Nevada District Judge Bill Maddox


by F.T. NortonAppeal Staff Writer, ftnorton@nevadaappeal.com

March 28, 2007A Carson City man was sentenced to up to 18 years in prison on Tuesday for possessing more than 800 images of child pornography.

Jason Excell, 36, pleaded guilty to 10 counts of possession of child pornography. In exchange for the plea, additional charges were dismissed.

"These kinds of offenses are problems with impulse control," said Carson City District Judge Bill Maddox prior to sentencing. "When I say that, it's my understanding that most men are sexually attracted to young women. When I say young women I don't just mean women that ... you should be attracted to. I mean women from the time they're 1 all the way up until they're 100."

Maddox noted the legal terms malum in se, a Latin phrase meaning an act that is "inherently evil," and malum prohibitum, which means acts that are not necessarily inherently immoral or hurtful, only wrong by statute. He said child pornography could be considered malum prohibitum because in some countries and cultures it is acceptable to engage in sexual conduct with young girls."

"As an example, having sex with a girl between 12 and 16 is prohibited because we say it's prohibited. It's because we decided as a civilized society you do not want adults engaging in sexual conduct with children below 16 years of age, which flies in the face of our, I guess for lack of a better description, our normal impulses," he said.

"I guess we could just ignore them, say it's just like a traffic ticket, it's malum prohibitum, it's only against the law because it's prohibited. Or we could say that because we're trying to control what's an otherwise natural impulse there has to be consequences."The bottom line on it all is the way we're going to control it in my opinion is to ensure that everybody understands what the consequences are if you engage in ... a lack of impulse control. It's likely that most people would find young girls sexually attractive. But we're civilized to the point that we're taught to control our impulses. When you don't, there has to be consequences."

In sentencing Excell, Maddox said he wanted to send a message to others in the community who might possess images of child porn."I want it to be clear to anybody out there that is thinking of downloading them or getting them on CD or ordering them through the mail or whatever, if you get caught possessing them you're going to go to prison in Carson City," he said. Excell was arrested March 3, 2006, after his wife turned over photographs she found on his computer.

According to Deputy District Attorney Kristin Luis, the images are of children "easily under the age of 10," being sexually violated by adults or engaging in sex with other children.

She said at least 88 of the photographs were of children who have been identified by federal authorities through other child pornography cases nationwide. Maddox could have sentenced Excell to between 10 and 60 years. Parole and probation suggested a sentence of two to 12 years. Maddox opted for an additional six years on Excell's sentence so that if he were paroled, he'd be under state supervision longer. Excell is eligible for parole in two years. He was given credit for serving 391 days in jail.

. Contact reporter F.T. Norton at ftnorton@nevadaappeal.com or 881-1213.


Transcripts of sentencing of Jason Excell on child porn charges:1 Case No. 06-01651C2

Department No. IIIN THE FIRST JUDICIAL DISTRICT COURTSTATE OF NEVADA, COUNTY OF CARSON CITYHONORABLE WILLIAM MADDOX
THE STATE OF NEVADA,PARTIAL TRANSCRIPT OF PROCEEDINGS
Plaintiff, JUDGE'S RULINGvs.
MARCH 27, 2007CARSON CITY, NEVADA
JASON ERIC EXCELL,Defendant.

APPEARANCES:FOR THE PLAINTIFF: OFFICE OF THE DISTRICT ATTORNEYBy: KRISTIN N. LUIS, ESQ.885 E. Musser St., Room 203017 Carson City, Nevada 8970318FOR

THE DEFENDANT: OFFICE OF THE PUBLIC DEFENDER19 By: KARIN K. KREIZENBECK, ESQ.RobinsonCarson City, Nevada 89701

FOR DEPT. PAROLE & PROBATION: SHERYL EILENFELDTSUNSHINE REPORTING SERVICES(775) 883-7950 or (775) 323-3411

REPORTED BY: STEPHANIE ZOLKOWSKI, CCR 283COMPUTER-ASSISTED TRANSCRIPTION BY: caseCATalystSUNSHINE REPORTING SERVICES (775) 323-3411CARSON CITY, NEVADA, TUESDAY, MARCH 27, 2007, 11:10 AM

THE COURT: Is there any legal cause to show4 why judgement shouldn't be entered?

MS. KREIZENBECK: No, Your honor.

THE COURT: There being no legal cause toshow why judgement shouldn't be entered, it will bethe judgment of the Court that Jason Eric Excell isguilty of Counts I through X, all category B -- well,Counts I through X, Possession of Child Pornography,first offenses, category B -- felonies, as defined byNRS 200.730 subsection 1.It will be the sentence of the Court that youpay a $25 administrative assessment fee, $60 chemicalanalysis fee and $150 DNA fee.I have been doing -- I have been in the criminal justice system in the State of Nevada andprobably all over the United States for almost 30 years, Mr. Excell. I was the primary person in the DistrictAttorney's office when I was a District Attorney who prosecuted child abuse cases. I consider sexualoffenses against children as abuse. I have come to I think understand a little bit about -- the doctor here didn't really add much tomy knowledge about it. When I was US Attorney my office prosecuted a lot of significant types. One of them was a guy namedRuben Sterling who was the largest pornographer in the world. We prosecuted him.
So I have been involved and had a lot of time to think about it, dealt with victims and even had occasion when I was in private practice to defendpeople accused of it. I have had a lot of experience with this.

It's my impression from all the experts that I have talked to, and it's been a fair number of them, that the doctor, the way he put it, isn't quite theway I put it. These kinds of offenses are problems with impulse control. When I say that it's my understanding that most men are sexually attracted toyoung women. When I say young women I don't just mean women that are appropriately you should be attracted to. I mean women from the time they're one all the way up until they're a hundred.

In some societies it's acceptable to be engaging in sexual conduct with women that are eleven, twelve-, thirteen-years-old. So we overlay that with laws that prohibit any sexual contact with children under 14 and any intercourse with children under 16, which means that those kinds of crimes are not what are called malum prohibitum, evil of themselves, they're crimes that are called malum prohibitum. As an example, having sex with a girl between12 and 16 is prohibited because we say it's prohibited.It's because we decided as a civilized society you do not want adults engaging in sexual conduct with children below 16 years of age, which flies in the face of our, I guess for lack of a better description, our normal impulses.

So what's the answer to that? What's the answer? How do we enforce those laws?I guess we could just ignore them, say it's just like a traffic ticket, it's malum prohibitum, it's only against the law because it's prohibited.

Or we could say that because we're trying to control what's an otherwise natural impulse there has to be consequences. There has to be consequences.

And in the overall scheme of things you're not even close to being the worst offender of our sexual morass that I have seen.4I have prosecuted fathers who force their 14-year old daughter to perform fellatio on them or 20-, 30-year old guy performing sexual acts on a seven-year old girl. Ruben Sterling who purveyed films of people having sex with animals. I have seen a wide spectrum. The bottom line on it all is the way we're8 going to control it in my opinion is to insure that everybody understands what the consequences are if you engage in and it's a lack of impulse control.

It's likely that most people would find young girls sexually attractive.

But we're civilized to the point that we're taught to control our impulses. When you don't, there has to be consequences. So having said all of that, I don't think you're someone that society needs to isolate. I don't -- you can argue about retribution. I don't know who I would be obtaining that for. Rehabilitation. You'll be on parole and you'll be able to get counseling which I absolutely suggest that you do.

I don't know if you have been specifically deterred from engaging in this type of conduct again. But what I do know is, and I have said it before, I want it to be clear what the consequences in this community are of engaging in this kind of conduct that you engaged in. So I'm not going to give you probation.I'm just sitting here and calculating it out. Based on the number of Counts you pled to I could sentence you to 23 years to 60 years which would bethe maximum. I'm not going to do that. Parole and Probation is recommending that I sentence you four years to eighteen -- to four years, eight months to eleven years, two months. I'm not going to do that.
The sentence is going to be on Count I I'll sentence you from 12 to 72 months. Count II I'll sentence you from 12 to 72 months. Actually, I'll sentence you 12 to 72 months on all ten Counts. I'm going to run Counts I, II and III consecutive, which means you're going to be required to spend 36 months to three times 72, whatever that is. My thought process there is that that will allow for you to be supervised for 18 years but you only serve three years in prison, assuming that you get paroled at your first parole date which based on your criminal history and other factors, like I say, you could not be lower on the sexual offender scale.About the only thing that gets you right off the bottom would be the fact you asked that girl to take her clothes off. But other than that I can't imagine someone being lower on the offender scale than you are. On the other hand, and Ms. Kreizenbeck said it, if there isn't a market for these kinds of9 photographs, then hopefully their production will be considerably reduced. To your credit you didn't engage in producing them. You have looks like acted out on your impulse other than that one time. That's really what it's about. It's impulse control.he doctor made the observation not having any substance abuse problems. What happens? You drink, you don't control your impulses as well as you8 should. You use drugs, you don't control your impulses as well as you should. You obviously have less impulse control than I might or other people. I definitely would suggest you don't drink or use drugs, especially if you're going to be around children. But this will give you a sentence of 36 to216 months. The rest of them will be run concurrent. You're given credit for -

MS. EILENFELDT: 391 days.Your honor, there is no chemical analysis fee. So please scratch that.

THE COURT: I want it to be clear to anybody out there that is thinking of downloading them or getting them on CD or ordering them through the mailor whatever, if you get caught possessing them you're going to go to prison in Carson City. That's what is going to happen to you.I don't know it's necessary to specifically deter you but what I would hope is it would be clear to others here thinking about doing the same thing and4 maybe at some point we can accomplish there being no demand for them and, therefore, they won't be produced.Anything more?MS. LUIS: No, Your honor.

THE COURT: That will be the sentence of the court.Good luck, Mr. Excell.(Proceedings concluded at 12:15 p.m.)1 STATE OF NEVADA )) ss.2 CARSON COUNTY )5 I, STEPHANIE ZOLKOWSKI, an Official Reporter of6 the First Judicial District Court of the State of7 Nevada, County of Carson, DO HEREBY CERTIFY: That I was present in the above-entitled Court on MARCH 27, 2007, and took verbatim stenotype notes10 of the proceedings had upon the matter captioned1 within, and thereafter transcribed them into2 typewriting as herein appears;13 That the partial foregoing transcript, consisting of pages 1 through 8, is a full, true andcorrect transcription of my stenotype notes of saidproceedings.17 DATED: At Carson City, Nevada, this________day18 of____________________________, 2007.

Can Pornography Damage The Teenage Brain?

Hon. John L. Harmer: Pornography damages teen brains


by: Jenniffer Wardell

Can pornography actually damage the teenage brain?

That’s one of the assertions lawyer and former California legislator and Lt. Governor under Governor Ronald Reagan, the Hon. John L. Harmer makes in his latest book, The Sex Industrial Complex. Exploring MRI research gathered by Dr. Judith Reisman, president of Arizona’s Institute for Media Education, the book claims that exposing a young person’s developing brain to pornography rewires neural connections to create a lasting addiction to pleasure-inducing brain chemicals Reisman refers to as “Erotoxins.” “Pornography creates a chemical addiction in the same way cigarettes and alcohol do,” said Harmer.

In his book, Harmer cites sources from the National Institute on Drug Abuse and the British National Addiction Centre to describe how dopamine, a key drug released by the brain during arousal, has the same effect as cocaine or speed and can create the same addictions in the brain.

For children and teens, Harmer feels that the addiction could be even stronger and more damaging. The amygdala, the part of the brain that controls fear and other “gut” reactions, develops at a much younger age than the more cognitive frontal lobe, and cites information from the National Institute of Health that says the amygdala is used more often to process images even into the teenage years.Because of this, Harmer said, when teenagers look at porn the images are not only linked in the brain to feelings of lust, but to other “gut” responses that the teen might be feeling such as anxiety or shame.

As an addiction forms, lust becomes permanently linked with the more negative emotions.“Studies have shown that the human brain is the last body organ to mature,” he said. “The teenage brain is at risk because it’s a long way from being fully developed.”According to Harmer, this information may be the key to fighting back successfully against pornography makers and distributors. As an attorney in Los Angeles, Harmer assisted the district attorney in successful attempts to prosecute pornographers, and has followed the progress of similar cases all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court.“

"Up until now all the litigation against porn has been criminal, but these studies are developing a basis for civil actions against the pornographers,” said Harmer. “Especially with online pornography, most people who become addicted did not willingly begin that process.“It’s like the tobacco litigation from a few years ago where the companies claimed that tobacco doesn’t cause cancer. If people have no knowledge of the risks involved, there’s no way they can assume the responsibility for those risks.”Harmer and the anti-pornography association he founded, The Lighted Candle Society in Salt Lake, are currently raising the necessary funds for a major MRI study that directly explores the negative effects of pornography on the human brain. The cost for such a project is estimated at $2-3 million.

Two years ago the society gathered a panel of neuroscientists from all across the country to develop the protocol for the test, but Harmer said that the technology has changed so much since then that they need to reconvene the panel and develop new protocols. Once this is completed, he expects the actual study to begin sometime in 2008.“We’re only using scientists from outside the state because we don’t want there to be an immediate bias against our results,” said Harmer. “It’s been a lot of work, but the truth needs to come out.”

Those looking for more information, to donate, or purchase the book, please go online to http://lightedcandlesociety.org

Criteria for Sexual Addiction

Criteria for Sex Addiction


Recurrent failure to resist sexual impulses.

More extensive/longer sexual acting out than intended.

Ongoing, but unsuccessful, efforts to stop, reduce, or control behavior.

Inordinate time spent obtaining sex, being sexual, or recovering from sexual experiences.

Feeling preoccupied with sexual behavior and/or preparatory activities.

Acting out takes significant time away from obligations: occupational, academic, domestic, or social.

Continuation of behavior despite consequences:
Risk of VDLost partner or had marital problemsLost rights to be with children Abortions/ unwanted pregnanciesCareer problemsRisk arrest

Tolerance - More frequency or intensity of behavior is needed over time to obtain the desired result.

Deliberately limiting social, occupational, or recreational activities to keep time open for acting out.

Distress, restlessness, or irritability if unable to do behavior (withdrawal)
DizzinessBody achesHeadachesSleeplessnessRestlessnessAnxiety Mood swingsDepression

A minumum of 3 of the above 10 needed are needed for sex addiction to be considered present. Most sex addicts have 5 signs, while over 50% have 7.

Material taken from research by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D.

Dr. Victor Cline

Please visit Dr. Victor Cline's website for a great deal of valuable information.
http://www.ldsr.org/info/drcline.phtml


Treatment & Healing of Pornographic and Sexual Addictionsby Dr.Victor B. Cline, PhD - April 1999


In over 25 years I have treated approximately 350 males afflicted with sexual addictions (sometimes referred to as: sexual compulsions). In about 94% of the cases I have found that pornography was a contributor, facilitator or direct causal agent in the acquiring of these sexual illnesses.

Patrick Carnes, the leading U.S. researcher in this area, also reports similar findings. In his research on nearly 1000 sex addicts as reported in his "Dan 't Call it Love", he stated: "Among all addicts surveyed 90% of the men and 77% of the women reported pornography as significant to their addiction."

I found that nearly all of my adult sexual addicts' problems started with porn exposure in childhood or adolescence (often eight years and older). The typical pattern was exposure to mild porn or sexual abuse (by friends, sibs, older individuals, or accidentally discovering the father's porn) with increasing frequency of exposure over time and eventual later addiction. This was nearly always sooner or later accompanied by masturbation.This addiction was followed by an increasing desensitization to the materials' pathology, escalation to increasingly varied, aberrant, and "rougher" kinds of erotic materials, and eventually to acting out the sexual fantasies they were exposed to. This might include exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, soliciting prostitutes, brief affairs, and even on occasion child molest and forced sex , most of the damage was through compulsive infidelity (sometimes infecting the wife with venereal diseases) and a destruction of trust in the marital bond which in many cases ultimately led to divorce and a breaking up of the family.

Many wives found their husband preferring fantasy sex (they would catch them masturbating to pornography) rather than make love with them, their partner. This had devastating effects on the marriage. One of my (patient) wives, in great pain, confronted her husband, "What do you see in those two dimensional faceless women that I can't give you as a loving wife--who is flesh and blood, a real person and committed to you?" The men never had an answer. To some extent they enjoyed sexual relations with their wives but most preferred the fantasy sex with masturbation because "these women" could do anything and were perfect inform and appearance! While some wives initially blamed themselves as possibly being responsible for their husband's problem they soon found that being extra affectionate with the husband in their intimate relations never solved the problem or stopped the "acting out" behavior or the constant lies and deception.

I found that once addicted, whether to just the pornography or the later pattern of sexual acting out--they really had lost their "free agency." It was like a drug addiction. And in this case their drug was sex. They could not stop the pattern of their behavior no matter how high risk it was for them or terrible the potential consequences.

In one case I had my patient give me a check for $1,000 which I put in a special bank account. Since his sexual acting out was always preceded by pornography exposure I thought we could possibly break the pattern by first stopping the pornography addiction.So I made an agreement with him that he could have his money back in 90 days if he could be 100% sober with regards to exposure to any kind of pornography. Since he was extremely tight with money this appealed to him and he agreed. He knew that he would do nothing foolish to lose that much money. If he failed the test, however, the money would go to charity (not myself, I didn't want to profit by his weakness nor have any reason to want him to fail). Unfortunately on the 87th day he relapsed.Since he had come so close to getting his money back I agreed to give him a second chance. I figured that if he could go 87 days sober, surely he could make 90. He was delighted to get a second chance. However 14 days later he relapsed again and confessed to me that even if he had given me $10,000 it wouldn't have made any difference--he would still have relapsed. He could not control himself nor his behavior no matter what the consequences.

I never used that technique again to break addictive behavior. It just didn't work. Promises, good intentions, will power, threat of job loss, the possibility of divorce, frequent reading of the scriptures or even imprisonment do not deter the behavior. None of these work.Both from my 30 years clinical work as well as frequent reviews of the literature convinces me that at least one major avenue leading to the creation of these kinds of addictions is through a process of masturbatory conditioning.

The work of R. J. McGuire suggests that exposure to special sexual experiences (which could include pornography), and then masturbating to the fantasy of this exposure, can cultivate a desire to participate in these deviant sexual acts. And it's just a matter of time before this happens.

The best evidence to date suggests that most or all sexual deviations are learned behaviors, usually through inadvertent or accidental conditioning. There is no convincing evidence, to date, suggesting the hereditary transmission of any pathological sexual behavior pattern such as rape, incest, pedophilia, voyeurism. exhibitionism, or promiscuity.

As one researcher in this area, Dr. R. J. McGuire explains it, as a man repeatedly masturbates to a vivid sexual fantasy as his exclusive outlet, the pleasurable experience endows the deviant fantasy (rape, molesting children, exposing oneself, voyeurism, promiscuity, etc.) with increasing erotic value. The orgasm experienced then provides the critical reinforcing event for the conditioning of the fantasy preceding or accompanying the act. McGuire indicates that any type of sexual deviation can be acquired in this way, that it may include several unrelated deviations in one individual and that it cannot be eliminated even by massive feelings of guilt. His paper cites many case histories to illustrate this type of conditioning.

Other related studies by D. R. Evans and B. T. Jackson support his thesis. They found that deviant masturbatory fantasy very significantly affected the habit strength of the subject's sexual deviation.In the treatment of hundreds of primarily male patients with sexual pathology (paraphilias) it has consistently been found that most men are vulnerable to the effects of masturbatory conditioning to pornography with a consequence of sexual ill health. We, especially males, are all subject to the laws of learning with few or no exceptions. Any individual who does this is at risk of becoming, in time, a sexual addict, as well as conditioning himself into having a sexual deviancy and/or disturbing a bonded relationship with a spouse or girlfriend.

Being more intelligent increases the risk (in my judgement) because of the increased capacity to fantasize.A frequent side effect is that it also dramatically reduces their capacity to love (e.g. it results in a marked dissociation of sex from friendship, affection, caring, and other normal healthy emotions and traits which help marital and family relationships). This sexual side becomes in a sense dehumanized.

Most addicts develop an "alien ego state" (or dark side), whose core is antisocial lust devoid of most values. Raw id, in a sense. Or the "natural man." In time, the "high" obtained from masturbating to pornography becomes more important than real life relationships. It has been commonly thought by health educators that masturbation has negligible consequences, other than reducing sexual tension. Moral objections aside, there is at least one other exception. This would appear to be in the area of repeatedly masturbating to deviant pornographic imagery (either as memories in the mind or with explicit external pornographic stimuli which risks (via conditioning) the acquiring of sexual addictions and/or other sexual pathology.

It makes no difference if one is an eminent physician, attorney, minister, athlete, corporate executive, college president, unskilled laborer, or an average 15 year old boy or President of the U.S. All can be conditioned into deviancy. The process of masturbatory conditioning is inexorable and does not spontaneously remiss.The course of this illness may be slow and is nearly always hidden from view. It is usually a secret part of the man's life, and like a cancer, it keeps growing and spreading. It rarely ever reverses itself, and is also very difficult to treat and heal. Denial on the part of the male addict and refusal to confront the problem are typical and predictable, and this almost always leads to marital or couple disharmony, sometimes divorce, and sometimes the breaking up of other valued relationships.

One researcher, Stanley Rachman, demonstrated in the laboratory how sexual deviations could be created in adult male subjects. He was actually able to condition, in two separate experiments, 100% of his male subjects into a sexual deviancy (fetishism).

There are many approaches to treatment which usually involve individual work with a psychotherapist who has skills in successfully treating this kind of illness plus being in a 12 step group/program such as Sexaholics Anonymous. There are no costs being in such a group which is patterned after the original A. A. model. It has at its core a spiritual dimension. I have found it very helpful with this condition.I have personally found the following approach to yield the most successful outcomes for at least the type of patient population which I work with: males 15-75 from mainly middle social class backgrounds, often religious, and motivated to change (because of the threat of divorce, loss of job, family, prison, etc.).

1. If the patient is married I attempt to have the wife participate in treatment. She has been traumatized repeatedly by the husband's problem, broken promises, many lies, and she usually has a huge trust issue with him and may be debating divorce. I see them together so that the wife knows everything that goes on in treatment and we address her fears, depression, the kids acting-out as well as their stressed marriage.

2. In the first interview I have the husband outline the problem and ask him what he wants me to do. It is important that he take some initiative in his healing. Then I turn to the wife and ask if she has anything to add or correct or give her point of view of what her goals for therapy are. If on the verge of divorce-determine if she wants out or wants to stay and help or to stay long enough to see if he can change or start healing of his addiction. I talk about the importance of the wife being a part of the healing team. It goes faster if both are involved. Both are wounded. Both need help.

However there is one unchangeable rule: NO SECRETS. I tell them that secrets "kill you". They take away your power." They create shame and guilt. And even though there might be some relapses (usually minor) during treatment these need to be talked about openly in therapy or they are wasting their time and money if these are not disclosed and worked with.

I tell them that most people I know who are kicking the cigarette habit, quit 15 times before they finally really quit. Anything hidden--the spouse always sooner or later finds out about. So right to begin with: no secrets! The lies and deceptions have to stop or he won't get well.

3. I next take a history of the man's exposure to pornography and masturbation to it and sexual acting out in the wife's presence. This helps her understand more clearly that in some ways her husband was a victim too starting at an early age.

I next inquire about possible sexual abuse or early seduction of the husband as a child or adolescent, which may have eroticized him prematurely.In taking this history I start with his first memory of exposure to pornography, what its form was (internet, magazine, video, phone sex, topless bars etc.) how old he was at the time and if he masturbated to it--and continue up to today (day of interview). Was there "other" acting out? I tell the husband that I don't want all of the tiny nitty-gritty details. Only the main essentials. I do this to protect the wife from being exposed to unnecessary sordid details. These may needlessly torment or traumatize her. But she still needs to know what he did generally so she can decided whether to ever forgive him. This also means that the slate is clean. There's a "level playing field." There are no more surprises. It also means that the husband can treat his wife as a confidant on any matter in this area. She already knows it all. It takes a great burden off of him. He no longer has to "hide out" and lie anymore.

4.Then I establish a sobriety date (the date of last exposure) for all the different forms of porn or sexual acting out that he was involved with as well a the last time he masturbated. At each succeeding visit I recheck these sobriety dates. If there has been a relapse then I do relapse prevention work with him, identifying triggers that set him off, and seek ways to circumvent these. And also fortify him against the "wave" (of temptation).

5. I next explain to the wife that her husband has lost his free agency. And that' s why promises don't work. At this point he shouldn't make promises that he can't keep. Good intentions mean nothing. Her husband may intend well and really want to quit because of the terrible painful consequences but he literally cannot do this by himself yet. He has to have highly specialized help. Unfortunately at the present time most therapists do not know how to treat sexual addictions. Self control and self discipline or a rational approach generally doesn't change anything. With most people I see who are deeply addicted prayers and scripture reading are usually not enough to solve the problem even though I believe that God could instantly cure the problem if He so chose. In most cases He lets the individual work it through the long way probably because he will in the future be more likely to voluntarily choose to not repeat this very destructive behavior--of his own accord.

6. I tell both husband and wife about the "wave" which periodically hits the patient and overwhelms him with temptation. This is something most men cannot resist. One of the goals of therapy is to prepare the man to face and defeat the wave. These waves vary in intensity and frequency from several times a day to once a year or even less. Between the waves--the man feels at peace and has the mistaken notion that he has his power and can resist anything. But this is an illusion and is only temporary until the next wave hits him.I explain to the couple that as a therapist I'm like a guide to Mount Everest. I can show them how to get there but they have to walk every step of the way. They have to do all the work. I assure them there is a good possibility that they can heal. But like an alcoholic when sober, in the future they have to be careful not to expose themselves to high risk situations. I also explain that they are not mentally ill in the classical sense but that have an addiction which powerfully controls their life--somewhat like being on crack cocaine. And the journey to freedom will not be easy. It will require an enormous commitment on their part to become whole again.

7. I assign both to read Patrick Games book, "Our of the Shadows" (Compcare Publications) and Stephen Kramer's "Worth of a Soul." (Randall Book Publ.) Then later: Games newer book: "Don't call it love."

8. I assign the husband to start attending S.A. (Sexaholics Anonymous) which is a 12 step program, spiritually based. In these groups we petition the help of a Higher Power, or God, or Jesus Christ to bless us and cleanse us of our addiction. There are chapters in nearly every city in America. They are free. To find where and when one meets call Alcoholics Anonymous (in all the phone books). They will know. Your client may start with a newcomers group first, then graduate to the step-study group after a few months. For wives that have been badly traumatized by their husband's behavior they may wish to attend S-Anon (for the spouses of offenders) or even later occasionally join with their husbands at their S.A. meetings if allowed. They (the husbands) need to attend 90% of their weekly meetings for this to work and be truly healing. If the individual is relapsing at high rates they may need to attend up to three or four nights a week in order to achieve sobriety and break the stranglehold of their addiction. Thus the client regularly attends a no cost S.A. program. And he also has a private therapist who works with both he and his wife. The therapist will tailor treatment to the unique aspects of his addiction, hold him responsible for doing the things that he can still do with his free will, assist the wife with her doubts and concerns as well as anxiety and trauma which she has been dealing with. And the therapist will also answer many questions, do relapse prevention work, "fire drills", and do those many things which the group cannot do for him.

9. At these S.A. meetings they need, in time, to locate a "sponsor" which is someone who has been sober (no relapses) for a lengthy period of time who they can call (phone) in an emergency which are those occasions when the wave hits them and they are strongly tempted to act out. Their sponsor can help them stay sober--he's like a life guard.

10. Because the compulsion to act out is so overpowering you give them a mental set to just stay sober one day at a time. Think only of making it today. If you focus on a longer time period you may be setting yourself up for failure. Just get through today.11. Through close interviewing identify triggers which activate the wave (e.g. looking at porn, seeing girls in skimpy clothes, after a fight with their spouse or the spouse being out of town, driving by an adult bookstore, walking into any video store, viewing hard-R or X films, looking at ladies bra and panty ads ) and then plan strategies to avoid these or deal with them. Example: if going on a business trip and being in a hotel with access to porn movies, when checking in the hotel request the front desk to block out those channels. Call their wives at 9:00 P.M. each evening when away,12. Thought-stopping: When your client is stimulated or aroused by sexual fantasy which can lead to masturbation and the acting out cycle tell them that they have only three seconds to block or stop the thought or imagery. At the top of their voice they should yell STOP (or scream it silently if others are nearby) and visualize a policeman with handcuffs approaching--holding a big sign with the words STOP on it. This will kick the offending imagery off the mind screen briefly. But then they have to bring to mind an event in their life that has very powerful emotional significance (either positive or negative) which they ruminate about. In other words they fight fire with fire, a strong sexual fantasy with an equally powerful contrasting kind-- such as they time they helped their team win the game, a surprise birthday party, or even the death of a very close friend.. But it must be something powerful emotionally.

13. Practice"fire drills." Present to them imaginary situations which they might have to face in real life which would expose them to temptation. How would they handle it? Process their responses in great detail so if something like this should happen they would be mentally prepared to deal with it. Example: a friend at work wants to show them his latest porn. How would they handle it? The wife, of course, is listening to all of this and participating as she chooses.

14. No more masturbation. Stop masturbating. That risks further conditioning into deviancy. Recognize that this may be difficult and not even possible immediately. But have them keep a record of those days where this occurs and strive for reducing its frequency but especially--if they do it--refrain from fantasizing deviant imagery. In contrast have them imagine loving their spouse at this time. Check their calendar at each session. See if they can slow it down with the ultimate goal of being free of this behavior. Our experience is that this is not an impossible goal. Many addicts do quit.

15. Do marriage counseling. Do those things that will help improve their marital relationship. Give them assignments to have fun together, improve intimacy, take marriage seminars, participate in sports of their choice together, be friends, etc.

16. Do stress reduction therapy. If they have financial problems work out solutions or refer them to agencies that can help here. If they have out-of-control children give them support in dealing with this. Or if the wife suffers greatly put her in a non-S.A. 12 step program--just to provide her with a support group and place where she can be nurtured.

17. When relapses occur don't "beat them up" but point out the positives, what can be learned that will protect them in the future, that this is just part of a growth experience. Give them hope. Point out all the progress made in other areas and all the good things done.

18. Have them keep a daily journal recording fantasies and behaviors. Then review and process these during therapy.

19. Give them further books to read such as Patrick Carnes later books like "Contrary to Love" and the more recent, "Don't Call It Love". Also the S.A. Big Books (with lots of case histories and biographies of recovering addicts stories).

20. Other techniques used include: apology sessions, medications like depo provera to temporarily reduce the sex drive including eliminating sex fantasies, autobiography, covert sensitization, family of origin work, developing a sobriety contract, healthy sexuality education, social skills work, etc. You may have to work with wounds from childhood where they may struggle with shame, feelings of worthlessness, have needs to punish themselves, where their self image is distorted and negative, or where they were emotionally abandoned and unloved by their parents or caretakers. They need to be given hope. They need to know that their counselor respects and cares about them as human beings.

21. And lastly--if an inappropriate image or tempting thought appears on your client's mind screen have them close their eyes and say, "Thank you God!. I appreciate your reminding me of my weakness. This will help me get well! !" Give them support in their spiritual life. Encourage their reconciliation and relationship with Deity.Remember to tailor your therapy to the special needs of the couple. You will never use all of these techniques. Chose only those that best fit your client's special needs. A skilled therapist familiar with treating sex addictions plus involvement with S.A. are both needed to bring about change and healing. This is one illness where you cannot get well on your own unless God grants you a miracle.